DCW Class of 2011

The last morning of the Dynamic Communicators Workshops, we all sat, waiting for the final session to begin. We had finished giving our last speeches and were well rested, finally free from anxiety.

One of our instructors, Stacey Foster, took the stage with a commanding presence and brought it all home for us: “God wants to use you more than you want to be used.” We all raised an eyebrow, wondering what, exactly, he meant.

He then began to tell us why this all mattered. Stacey started to preach.

“Men are looking for better methods,” he said, leaving an intentional pregnant pause, “but God is looking for better men.” Many of us gulped with conviction.

What was this all about then? Weren’t we learning better methods of speaking?

“Destiny is always wrapped up in decision,” he explained. And where we took this teaching — how we applied — would largely depend on us and our motives.

“Live a life worthy of your calling.”
-Eph. 4: 1

Stacey preached from Ephesians that morning, ensuring us that while he was passionate about his subject that we did not all have to be charismatics to apply what he was teaching. We all giggled, slightly nervous.

And then, he laid it on us. The commitments we now had to embrace. The commitments we had to internalize. The commitments we had to commit to. They were:

Commit to being people of conviction

“Don’t just talk the talk, but walk the walk.”

As speakers, we are prone to communicate, to merely talk. But God wants more than that. He desires action. Love, after all, is a verb.

We had to admit: we all were educated way beyond our level of obedience. If God was going to use us and these newly-honed skills, it would not be because of another method.

When people see what you do, Stacey challenged, do they see a person of conviction or compromise? People do what they see, not what they hear.

Commit to being people of courage

“God has called us to make an impact.”

We must stand with boldness. As communicators, our words, although powerful, are not enough. We must act with the strength of conviction with which we speak.

We must make an impact — on our friends, families, and work places.

We must walk in the authority and confidence we exhibit on-stage.

We must be courageous.

Commit to being people of connection

“Apart from Jesus, you can do nothing.”

Stacey reminded us that the Greek word for “nothing” in the New Testament can be literally translated as… nothing. We all got the point. We can’t do this on our own.

He then recounted for us, quite entertainingly, a slightly-modified version of the story of Mary and Martha (in which they were two black women living in the southern United States).

The morale of the story was the same, though: Spend your time being, not only doing.

Commit to being people of commitment

“Give me the grace, so that I stand tallest when I’m on my knees.”

He said this at the risk of sounding redundant, but we understood his point. He wanted us to mean this, to take it seriously.

There are two commandments in the New Testament that we are taught to take seriously:

• The Great Commandment – To Love God and To Love Others
• The Great Commission – To Tell Others

Both are important: we must do, and we must tell.

“Because we’ve stopped going to the nations,” Stacey told us, “God has brought the nations to us.” He impressed upon us the age of opportunity in which we are living. He shared how in his hometown of Detroit, he had the daily opportunity to tell people from all around the world about Jesus.

Where do we go from here? How do we apply what we’ve learned and reconcile these new-found methods and skills with being obedient to our calling?

“The answer is in your hands,” Stacey closed.

Again, those words rang in my mind — long after Stacey and the rest of the staff and students from DCW left the building, long after the lights were turned off and I began my long ride home:

“Men are looking for better methods; God is looking for better men.”

Interested in DCW? Read about how it will transform your public speaking. Sign up for the next conference now and receive a discount!

Use the promotional code DCW11 by May 21 to receive an additional $200 off (plus the $100 “early bird” discount)! Register here…

Long ago, in a galaxy far far away,

His condescending tone flipped a switch deep inside my soul.  My response was instantaneous, clever, profoundly logical, and……… totally inappropriate,  but my lips were already moving and I spit the words out with vengeance.

“Do you want me to not give my presentation?”

“No!”

“Would you like my assistant try  to buy some slacks  in the next, I paused to take a quick glance at my watch, 13 minutes?”

“No.”

“Perhaps you would like me to try to get one of your guests or your boss to lend me their slacks for my presentation?”

NO!!!!

“Then what possible benefit could come from you confronting me so close to my talk, AND what possible negative consequences could possibly come from me making my presentation dressed the way I am?”

My question was met with silence, an angry glare, and hasty departure.  I might become a lawyer some day!

Listen carefully friends. My misjudgment concerning the proper dress was careless but forgivable.   In Tennessee business professional means “for sure wear a coat and a shirt” and in some places it means “wear at least a loin cloth.” But no matter how clever and biting my cross examination was,  I was wrong!

My REACTION seemed spontaneous with no time to choose a better response. I later apologized and I asked God for the grace to help me find a Nano Second between the flip of that switch in my soul and my verbal REACTION so that I could at least make a decision to do the right thing.

So what did I learn???

I DO have time to make an appropriate decision and respond with grace. Unkind and demeaning treatment can throw a switch directly connected to our FEELINGS but that switch is not directly connected to our REACTIONS.

• FEELINGS are unavoidable. It is okay to suddenly be overcome with feelings of anger, resentment, helplessness, etc.

• RESPONSE is a choice.

Even in the midst of all the feelings that washed over me I could have said, “I am so sorry that I misunderstood the requirements.  Please forgive me.  What can I do to help at this late stage?”

Remember this little progression of truth.

• Feelings can be triggered without warning.

• Feelings are immediate.

• Feelings are okay.

• Feelings precede words.  Use that time to take a deep breath and choose your words kindly and carefully.

Am I the only one who has to hold his tongue when the heat is on?
Have you been put in a humiliating situation where you felt you lashed out spontaneously?
What secrets do you use to keep your words kind when your soul is wounded?

I would love  to hear your comments.

Are you scheduled to speak to a group of professional peers?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you can be confident in your ability to speak  with persuasive power by following these 7 steps of preparation.

1. Research

Make sure you are familiar with all the facts.  Make sure what you present IS fact.  Take time to move beyond emotion to discover the truth.  Your credibility rests on the your confidence in the information you will present.  Know what you are talking about.  This is true whether you are preaching a sermon or having a heart to heart conversation with your spouse.

2. List

List all of the elements you want to include in your presentation.  Write down all of the supportive illustrations, evidence, scripture, questions, everything that you would possibly want to say about the topic you will address.

3.  Focus Focus Focus

This is the most important step of all. Ask yourself WHY you want to say all those things you have listed.  Isolate ONE, yes that is right ONE,  outcome you want the listener to walk away with.  Did you notice I said ONE outcome.  Make that ONE outcome the singular focus of everything you say. This is where most communicators fail.  They chase rabbit trails that lead nowhere or try to accomplish too much in a single talk.  Your audience, whether 200 people or your husband, want to know what you are driving at.

“If you aim at nothing you will hit it every time.  If you know where you are going you can take anyone with you.”

So, look over that LIST of things you want to say and write WHAT YOU WANT TO ACCOMPLISH into a single sentence. If you can’t identify the objective of your talk in a single sentence, you won’t be able to communicate it no matter how much time you have.

4.  Eliminate

Now, eliminate everything in the list that does not lead the listener to the desired outcome. This can be hard when you have an emotional attachment to some story or point.  It may be powerful, you may love it, but if it doesn’t lead toward your OBJECTIVE ditch it!

5.  Organize

Organize what remains in a way that will most powerfully lead your listener/s to the SINGLE objective you want to accomplish.

6.  Practice

Practice your presentation OUTLOUD, preferably with a friend who can give you some objective feedback. See if they get the objective of your talk.

7.  Deliver

Make your presentation with confidence.

SO….. If you are dreading your next communication challenge OR…. if you are looking for an opportunity to make your next presentation powerful and persuasive, prepare with these steps and let me know how it goes. I look forward to your comments.

Want more information on how to be a powerful communicator?

Speaking to 22,000 teens in DC

One of the questions asked of me all the time is “What was your favorite audience?”  People wonder if it was the 85,000 men I spoke to at a Promise Keepers event, or perhaps the 22,000 teenagers gathered in Washington DC, or maybe it was speaking to introduce the President of the United States.  All those people are wrong.

Working the Crowd

I love doing my comedy shows and bringing laughter and hope to all kinds of audiences, but my favorite audience is some tiny little grandchildren that I love very much.

They think I am the funniest guy alive. When they were very small all I had to do was shake a set of car keys and they would laugh convulsively.  Shake car keys at one of my shows?……….silent stares.  If I make a face and whoop like a monkey they laugh until they can’t breath.  I did that in a restaurant once………..hand cuffs.

One of my raving fans!

In my new DVD, “Under the Influence,” I proclaim without shame how the power of love impacts our lives.  One of our biggest concerns in the recent Tennessee flood was the safety of our little ones. I moved a thousand miles to be near them.  I will spend the rest of my life letting them know about the greatest love of all!

Four generations living under the influence of love!

Four generations of Love

I just finished standing shoulder to shoulder with some amazing people. They were men and women from various walks of life who are not satisfied with mediocrity.  They seek excellence in everything they do.  They were the Dynamic Communicators Workshop students who came to our DCW conference at Winshape Retreat to learn to be extraordinary communicators.  Some were pastors, youth pastors, or worship leaders.  Many were executives, owners and leaders from Chick-fil-A.  We had apologists, small business owners, authors, and professional speakers.

New friends from Dynamic Communicators Workshop

All of them were first class people, not because of their position but because of their commitment to excellence.

If you strive for excellence, if you have dreamed of being able to speak with confidence and power, I would love to have you join us next year.   Our next workshop is October 25-28 in Beaver Creek, Colorado.  We will give anyone who registers in the next 30 days a $200 discount. Attendance is limited so I want to give you a chance to register early.

As we were driving to our beautiful mountain getaway in Colorado. My three year old Granddaughter, Jadyn asked where the cabin was located. I pointed to the mountains in this picture and said, ” Our place is located right where those five lines come down the mountain.” She stared intently at the mountains for several minutes. Then the following conversation took place.

Jadyn: “Can we play outside at the cabin?”

Me: “Of course.”

Jadyn: “Will the tigers get us?”

Me: “Jadyn, there are no tigers in the mountains!”

Jadyn: “When do they come down?”

Me: “Who?”

Jadyn: “The tigers!”

Me: “Jadyn, there are no tigers!”

Jadyn: “But you said the cabin was right where five lions come down!”

So much for my communication skills. Don’t waste time worrying about imagined fears. There are no lions.