9:30pm Two months before the triathlon:

Ken: Why don’t you do the Cedars of Lebanon triathlon with me?

Diane: I’m afraid I couldn’t finish. I am not a good swimmer. I don’t run very fast. I’m 66 years old. I’ll stand out among all those young chicks. I’ll drown. I can’t.

Ken: Sign up! You’ll love it!

Diane: I’ll drown!

A man and his wife were feuding at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. After a week of no communication, the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight to Chicago.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (AND LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5:00 AM.

Hi friends.  It’s Lighten up Monday!  So here’s my question today.  Is panic ever justified?  On this day it was. I can handle a mouse in my pant leg or a snake in my tent, but not this.  Let me know if you like the clip and tell me what freaks you out!

Now let’s hear your story.

This clip taken from I’m Not Ok. For more info or to purchase click here.

After opening the service in our small college chapel with the usual formalities, our guest speaker, an old man with a weathered face stepped to the podium. He wasn’t smiling as he began. “Most of us,” he said, “have moss growing on our butts.”

There was a collective, gasp from the conservative faculty and student body. I am certain the word “butt” had never been uttered within the walls of that little chapel. One of the deans rose halfway from his metal folding chair—then sat back down.

If a little is good, a lot has to be better, right? Wrong! Want proof?

An Ambien might put you to sleep for the night. Six Ambien could result in a very long dirt nap!

Lifting weights can build muscle. Lifting too much weight can tear muscle.

A table spoon of castor oil is a laxative. A bottle of castor oil is a national security issue. I know! I drank a bottle as a child.

One final example……