Headache Medication and Porno Tomatoes

Some Keys to Understanding and Being Understood

A sweet woman approached our product table at Legacy Five’s Memorial Day Celebration.

After looking everything over, she asked, “Do you have any CM ones?”

Our staff kindly responded that we didn’t have any ‘CM ones’. They had never heard of a ‘CM one’. Neither had I.  We must have looked very confused.

At that point the lady declared, “You most certainly have ‘CM ones!’  I have five of Ken’s ‘CM ones’.” My sister likes the ‘Hear M ones,’  but I like the ‘CM ones.'”

Suddenly I understood…

Turkey Talk

Twelve Resolutions that Might Save the Day

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My contribution to the festivities. Just call me Martha!

Here are twelve resolutions that might make for a peaceful and happy Thanksgiving:

  1. I will not be the turkey at the table.
  2. I will help clean up by getting out of the way.
  3. I will not touch a scale and I will drop all thoughts of calories for one day.
  4. I will run 8 miles after dropping all thoughts of calories for one day.
  5. I will not talk politics.
  6. I will thank my spouse for staying with me one more day.
  7. I will not watch the news. The news will take the THANKS and the GIVING out of my day.
  8. I will play board games with the little people and let them win.
  9. I will not drop a frozen turkey into boiling oil again.
  10. I will eat the skin while repeating, “It’s good for me. It’s good for me.”
  11. I will thank everyone at my table for something good they have done in my life.
  12. I will be nice to the vegetarians. Their sacrifice means more turkey for me.

I will remember to thank God for everything he has done for me.

Happy Thanksgiving!