The wife screamed at her husband: “Leave!! Get out of this house!” As he was walked out the door she added, “And I hope you die a slow and painful death!” He turned around and replied, “So now you want me to stay???”
Every married couple has disagreements. Conflict is a part of any relationship. If you are in a marriage where there is no conflict. One of you has passed away. The couple I mentioned at the beginning of this post are not however good examples of how to disagree.
Here are ten important guidelines to remember as you resolve conflict.
1. It is perfectly normal to disagree about issues.
2. It is okay to verbalize those disagreements.
3. Attack the issue not the person.
4. Winning the argument is never worth losing the relationship.
5. Weigh your words carefully, once spoken they can never be taken back.
6. After a disagreement, reaffirm your love for one another.
7. If you can’t reach resolution. Agree to disagree.
8. Keep the tone and volume respectable.
9. Listen more than you talk.
10. Don’t go to bed angry.
A good marriage is not the absence of conflict. It is two people who love each other that learn to work through conflict together.
Diane and I have vowed never to go to sleep angry. Neither one of us has slept for months.
How do you work through conflict? I always look forward to your comments.