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Mossy Butts

Author: Hunter S. Thompson

After opening the service in our small college chapel with the usual formalities, our guest speaker, an old man with a weathered face stepped to the podium. He wasn’t smiling as he began. “Most of us,” he said, “have moss growing on our butts.”

There was a collective, gasp from the conservative faculty and student body. I am certain the word “butt” had never been uttered within the walls of that little chapel. One of the deans rose halfway from his metal folding chair—then sat back down.

Why Your Mom Told You to Take Small Bites

why your mom told you to take small bites

If a little is good, a lot has to be better, right? Wrong! Want proof?

An Ambien might put you to sleep for the night. Six Ambien could result in a very long dirt nap!

Lifting weights can build muscle. Lifting too much weight can tear muscle.

A table spoon of castor oil is a laxative. A bottle of castor oil is a national security issue. I know! I drank a bottle as a child.

One final example……

A Stupid Prayer

It’s Lighten Up Monday!  Why in the world would I pray to ask God for confirmation that I should do something He already asked me to do?  Because sometimes I am afraid to do what He wants me to do!

How to Exterminate the Bugs in Your System

How to Exterminate the Bugs in Your System

I was on a flight from Harrisburg to Cincinnati. After a short delay, the flight attendant announced we were going to be a few minutes late because of paperwork.

Ten minutes later I looked out the window to see people cleaning bugs off of the wings with paper towels. Could this be what they meant by paperwork?

After another five minutes, the pilot announced that the plane had flown through a cloud of bugs the night before and now that the bugs were gone, we would have to wait while the ground crew filled out paperwork on the bugs.

Bug paperwork?

We left thirty minutes late. I have some questions.

Three Questions That Can Eliminate Bad Lions FromYour Life

Our cabin is at the bottom of the five lines on this mountain.

As we were driving to our beautiful mountain getaway in Colorado. My then three-year-old granddaughter, Jadyn, asked where our cabin was located.

I said, ” Our place is located right where those five lines come down the mountain and join at the bottom.” I pointed to the lines on the mountain which are actually the avalanche shoots you see in the accompanying picture.

“Can you see them?” She stared intently at the mountain for several minutes. Then the following conversation took place.

Think Before You Speak!

It’s Lighten up Monday!   Someday I might learn to keep my mouth shut, until then I will probably be in trouble all my life. 

I do hope that I will always be willing to speak of for justice and common sense and those who can’t speak for themselves. 

PLEASE comment on your TSA experiences.  I want to add them to my collection.  I will send a free copy of my Fully Alive DVD to the person who has the best TSA story.
_______________________________

This clip is taken from the DVD Fully Alive. For more info or to purchase click here.

Two Principles that Can Change the World

Two Principles that Can Change the World -- Compassion International

Last night I was captivated by two speakers at the Compassion International appreciation banquet.

Both men began their lives in hopeless social, spiritual, and physical poverty.  But they didn’t stay there.

People they had never met lived out  two principles that changed these boys lives and as a result, changed the lives of thousands of other children.

A 23 year old young woman and an elderly woman heard the stories of these boys and sponsored them.

The amazing result?

Ken Davis

Ken is a best-selling author, frequent radio and television guest and one of the country's most sought after inspirational and motivational speakers. A gifted comedian and a master storyteller, year after year Ken continues to delight audiences of all ages from coast to coast with family comedy that's actually funny!

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