Here are twelve resolutions that might make for a peaceful and happy Thanksgiving:
- I will not be the turkey at the table.
- I will help clean up by getting out of the way.
- I will not touch a scale and I will drop all thoughts of calories for one day.
- I will run 8 miles after dropping all thoughts of calories for one day.
- I will not talk politics.
- I will thank my spouse for staying with me one more day.
- I will not watch the news. The news will take the THANKS and the GIVING out of my day.
- I will play board games with the little people and let them win.
- I will not drop a frozen turkey into boiling oil again.
- I will eat the skin while repeating, “It’s good for me. It’s good for me.”
- I will thank everyone at my table for something good they have done in my life.
- I will be nice to the vegetarians. Their sacrifice means more turkey for me.
I will remember to thank God for everything he has done for me.