Fifty Ways to Be a Lover!

Someone asked me what words I want to be spoken at my funeral.  My first response was that I want someone to say….. “He moved!  He’s alive!”  But I doubt that will happen.

I think I would want the people who knew me best to say, “He was a lover!” Not in a lover in the classic sense of a ladies man, but I want to be known as someone who loved people.  I haven’t got it all together but I,m working hard to build that reputation.

Nothing is more powerful than love. But how does one become, a lover?  I don’t have fifty suggestions, but I do have twelve

1.    Be patient with people, especially if they work for the airline or TSA.
2.    Don’t try to be better than other people.  Empower them. Help them be better
3.    Don’t be a bragger, except when applauding the accomplishments of others
4.    Don’t be rude!
5.    Keep your eyes open for opportunity bring happiness to others.
6.    Be even tempered.  When you are angry, measure your words. Chill!
7.    Don’t hold grudges.
8.    Forgive effortlessly.
9.    Name evil for what it is, DEADLY, and avoid it like the plague.
10.  Celebrate what is true and beautiful.
11.  Fiercely protect good people and the truth.
12.  Trust and believe in others even at the risk they might let you down.

Philip Yancey recently said that the power of love is most dramatically demonstrated in Hospice where people know that they have only days to live. The currency in a hospice is not influence, money, or power.  It is the number of visitors that a patient has.  Love is what counts when everything else is gone.

Want to be a lover?  I do, but I have a long way to go.  How about you?  I value your comments!

BTW I Plagiarized the 12 ideas above from a best selling book……..   the Bible 1Corinthians 13:4-13


  1. Awww …. that was a wonderful writing! I really enjoyed that !
    Love is honestly and truly the greatest gift of all.

    I honestly enjoyed all of that, except the part about number 12. I have honestly done that all too many times only to have unhealthy people burn the hell out of me. I am learning how important it is for me to stay away from unhealthy people and allow all my energy to be placed on other people who are a whole lot more emotionally healthy or what counselors will refer to has “safe people”

    Thank you Ken! You are a awesome man!

    1. Karen, Sorry about the burns, but grateful for you comment. True that we must be careful, but also true that if we choose to love we will be burned. It’s okay to have the hell burned out of you, just don’t let those people burn the joy out of you. Thank you so much for your insightful comment. Come back often.


  2. I decided several years ago to try to become a “lover”, as you wrote. To me, this meant NOT making funny wise-cracks about or to people in my life. I want to be remembered as a loving giver to my husband, children, and grandchildren, even when they disappoint me. I don’t want to be remembered as that lady who made fun of her husband and picked at him behind his back (boy, he was REALLY henpecked!), but want to reflect the kind of love I truly feel for him. I want young people to look at us and say “I want my relationship to be like theirs.” I know there are some relationships that I’d rather avoid because of the negativity that exudes from them, so I do just that when possible. Some people may say I’m being unfriendly, but I’m trying to stay positive, and I can’t do that around “negative waves”, really!
    Anyway, Ken, thank you for the 12 points. I’m going to try to put them into practice.
    Anxiously awaiting your next video! (I have 11 of them now)
    In Christ’s Love,

    1. Claudia,
      Thank you for commenting. Sounds like you will be remembered for the love you are practicing. New video will be out in the spring. Check our website for local theaters that will be showing it in March.


  3. Your headline lied to us! But the 12 suggestions you provided were great.

    Not holding a grudge is probably one of the most important. Grudges are like landmines. A misstep with a small amount of pressure can set it off, even if the issue was small.

    1. Joe,

      Yeah, I lied but I confessed right up front. So true about the grudge land mines. Thanks for the insight and for visiting my blog.


  4. Great post Ken! Thanks for this helpful information on an important subject! Blessings to you and your family! 🙂

  5. Ken, Thank you for this. I love it.
    Recently I was looking at the same verses 1 Corinithians 13:4-7, but at a different angle.
    For instance, if you turn each of them into a circumstance where people are being mistreated, what is the loving way for a Christian to respond to solve the problem (ie. a Biblical problem solving approach). For, as we see in the last verse, “LOVER NEVER FAILS”. So if someone is not being treated right, but the victim responds in a loving way, then all relationships can be successful, right?

    1. Good point Felicity, However there is no promise that all relationships can be successful, only that we demonstrate the love of Christ by being obedient to love like he loved…… even when the love is not returned. We don’t have to hang around people who mistreat us. But we are directed to love even our enemies. I haven’t got that skill down yet, but I am working on it. Thank you for your commment.

  6. Oops, the verse is 1 Corinthians 13, verse 8 and it says “LOVE NEVER FAILS”.
    For instance, here are some solutions my wise siser suggested to me.
    *How can we respond in a loving way if someone is NOT patient; We can give that person an extra amount of patience.
    *How can we respond in a loving way if someone is NOT kind; We can give that person an extra amount of kindness.
    *How can you respond in a loving way if someone is annoyed because you have certain advantages that they don’t have; We can be generous with our belongings.
    *How can we respond in a loving way when others are proud of their belongings; We can help them thank God for what they have, and be humble about our own belongings.
    *How can we respond in a loving way when others make bad choices that hurt others, and cannot see that they have done anything wrong; Even though these people are lonely and disliked, we can show acceptance.
    *How can we respond if someone is rude to us; We can put these people first and serve them, (ie we can display our own knowledge of good manners towards them).
    *How can we respond in a loving way if someone can only think about themselves; We can be extra thoughtful to these people.
    *How can we love others who get upset/angry easily; We can remain calm and arrange a meeting with the facts to talk about it later.
    *How can we respond in a loving way when we are around critical people who are keeping track of our mistakes; We can forgive, for they will eventually make a similar mistake of their own and when that happens, we can be quick to forgive.
    This is just some of what I have learned in how to love others.
    I will meditate on the love chapter all of my life, for I feel it has all of the answers for long lasting relationships.

  7. I loved being loved, and my husband of 35+years is doing a great job of loving me. He tells me more than once a day, and shows love to me in many ways. One big way, he says, is that he gives me money to spend on others, myself, and him! How do I love him back? with respect, honor and unselfishness. This has been a 35+year learning curve for me. I could only do this based on God’s word and His work in my life. It has not always been easy but God’s grace has been evident, present and working every day in my life. I have been called by a co worker, a woman of conviction. That hit me with a dose of reality, yet a victory praise prayer back to God. This proves His working in my life on a daily basis to love people, even my difficult ones, and that is another entry, entirely!

    1. Gayle, Sounds like you have a great husband. Learning to love is a lifetime curve. Someday when we see Him we will know it to it’s fullest.


  8. Ken that is great! Ken you are a postive influnece to me and many others.Keep doing what you are doing.I want to do the love thing better also. We just got off our first cruise sing at see and really enjoyed meeting newfriends as well
    as singing and commedian Aron Wilburn,he is nuts!!
    I would like to here what your wife has to say about you. Thanks agian. we have our resavations for New years in Naashville to see you.

  9. Oh, Ken, this is a wonderful post about loving! 12 simple ways to show love for others. Thank you so much for sharing it. I always love your take on things.

  10. I realise that’s my aim/goal too – I am reminded to have a ‘Gratitude Attitude’ when things are less than great, and to watch where my focus is – on Him, or on the circumstances? Also to ‘Wait well’, and ‘bloom where I am planted’- but being on the plus side of loving and encouraging others is a big one!

  11. You want to be careful Ken, if the world takes on board your 12 suggestions the whole world just may become one big happy family causing unemployment to skyrocket. Imagine a world without lawyers, judges, police, divorce court, children services, abortion clinics, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. There would be pandemonium and YOU would be the cause. How would that made you feel?
    Seriously however, you make perfect sense, I love my lady with all my being, it’s my ‘job’, and what a breathtakingly wonderful job it is, and I get to demonstrate it so many times a day, a touch, a smile, a hug, a word, a…. :)…. The great news is she has the same job… yee har…. ain’t love grand… Praise Our Lord.
    and thank you Ken.

  12. I saw your title and thought “Wow! This will be insightful!” I couldn’t believe I got to the end of the list and there were only 12. But it was still a great list.

    I really appreciated your second point. Helping others to be better is a great aspiration rather than just trying to better yourself. It is difficult but it sure does show love.

  13. Ken, you have reitterated what the Lord is putting in my heart! Thank you for the confirmation! Oh, and being an example instead of just PREACHING it!

  14. It was good to hear from you last week.

    I would have to say that #6 is extremely important in my life. God has given me the task of bringing happiness and laughter to others even in adversity. I think that if we look for happiness and bring happiness to others we embody the eleventh comandment, “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.” For how can we give the gift of happiness without also giving the gift of love?

  15. Great goal! Thanks for the inspiring words! I’ve seen a sign that reads “Always be kinder than necessary”. Goes along with your thoughts well.

  16. So True. Theres nothing left to follow from your way of expressing how to be a Lover except to continue setting examples to lead people to God. But!!! On the fun side I’ll share this with you. “A man who is only bald on the forehead is a thinker. A man who is bald only on the backside is a Lover, And a man who is Bald over the top front to back with hair only on the sides THINKS his a Lover.” ME? I’m bald all over, I’m just CONFUSED!!! Gods Blessings Always; Mark

  17. Great words of wisdom, (and I know the author of all greatness and wisdom is our Lord Jesus Christ!) I discovered upon reading this that Hey, Im already doing all these things, I must be a great person, BUT how twisted and conceited is that, If I am even a little bit great it is ONLY the love of Christ that He allows to show through me. How awesome is our God, thank u for always making me laugh! Have a blessed day.

  18. Hi Ken,

    My family and I LOVE your DVDS! I love what you have shared here. Especially # 3. Such a great one to remember. 🙂

    I wrote to you last year and was given an email back in return answering my questions by a lovely lady, but my wishes haven’t come true! I was told in an email that you were trying to schedule in a tour of Australia! Yes I’m in Australia and we love your work here. When are you coming to Australia!?!?
    We’d love to have you here and will wait for the show. I hope you can share the love here through your work.
    God Bless 🙂

  19. Mu husband and I saw you live in Colorado.
    You do love people,
    and can make any situation funny.
    We laughed so hard we cried!

    Cheryl Mason

  20. Thank you for this blog & for being a people lover yourself. I have been visiting my 18 yr old son in the hospital for 4 months, after an accident left him with brain injury. Today I took your latest Ken Davis & Friends dvd to watch with him. We had the best laughs we have had in months. He loved your humor even before his accident (he loved your Bananas Comedy Club routine) & I loved to see him laugh deeply for the first time in months! Thanks for your ministry. May God continue to use it to bless the Body.
    Cindy Porinchak

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