I had to go through a security wanding at the airport the other day. For those who may not know what a security wanding is, it’s like receiving a spanking for something you didn’t do. The only difference is they can’t touch you with the paddle.
As the wand went over my watch it gave off the national security alert beep. “What is that?” the screener asked pointing to my watch. I tried to keep a straight face, because I have discovered laughter at a moment like this can result in secondary screening. For those of you who might not know what secondary screening is, that is where you get an actual spanking. “That’s a watch,” I said. I should have stopped there but my lips were already moving. I continued “It has a life time guarantee. When it quits, a little razor blade comes out and slits your wrist.” Wrong answer. Now I know what a full body search is.