Can You Say These Three Important Words?

I need help! This will make more sense if you first read my post “Three of the Hardest Words in the English Language,”  written last week.  In that post I proposed three common scenarios where “Three Words” could possibly have changed the outcome.

I also included the story of a young man who learned to say those words early and often. His wisdom helped him build stronger relationships and establish an exciting career. Here are what some of you guessed the words might be.

  • I am sorry
  • I was wrong
  • God help me – These ARE very good words, but not what I was thinking
  • Pass the bacon –  There’s a life-changer for you!
  • I love you
  • I’m sorry, no
  • I need you
  • We’re not lost

and my favorite…..

  • I don’t know!

All of these are valuable words. Most of you guessed the exact words I was thinking of,

“I need help”


  • Those are the words that helped me recover my health when I was 60 pounds overweight.
  • Those are the words that helped me face moral failure in my life.
  • Those are the words that brought me to faith in Christ.
  • Those are the words that brought healing when I was drifting mentally, spiritually, and physically.

Those are the words that have saved

  • addicts
  • broken marriages
  • alcoholics
  • men and women facing depression, and
  • people facing spiritual darkness

So why are we afraid to say them?  Because we believe these lies of pride.

  • I will look weak
  • I will lose respect
  • I can do it by myself
  • I don’t need anybody

Do you remember when your child came to you and said, I need help?  My guess is that you held not an iota of disrespect, or feeling that your child was week.  Their request indicated a willingness to learn and grow. It was sign of maturity.

My mom use to say, “Don’t talk with your mouth full.”  The fact is you CAN’T talk with your mouth full, especially if it is full of pride.

Until one swallows his pride he cannot say “I need help!”
If the CEO in last week’s post had asked her workers and associates for help she would have discovered a wealth of information that could have helped saved her company.  Think of how empowered her team would have felt.  Imagine the possibilities that could have arisen from the synergy of the group and the admiration her team would have had for her management.

Had the performer been willing to say, I need help he might have had a chance to salvage both his personal life and his public career. Think of all the fallen “stars” today who refused to ask for or receive help.

How many marriages end unnecessarily because no one asks for help until it is too late.

On the contrary.

Only the strong can say, “I need help.”

Only the wise say it early and often.

Only those who lean on the help of a wise and loving God experience life, Fully Alive.

Only those who ask for help and take advantage of the strength, wisdom and experience of others approach full potential.

need help sig with border

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

This image was used to design one of the most popular t-shirts on our site. After decades, people still ask for it.
[reminder] What has been your experience with asking for help? And how do you respond when someone asks you for help?[/reminder]


  1. Love this post! “I need help” are words that changed the course of my life. Thanks for this.

  2. I need help loosing weight. I have tired and tried for over 10 years to loose weight on my own with no success. I am tired of failing at weight loss.

    1. Stay with us rebecca, If you have not read Fully Alive please do so. This is a tough battle but you are not alone. Thank you so much for allowing us to pray and encourage you,

      1. I have lost almost 25 lbs since July … thanks to a very strict diet courtesy of my gastroenterologist .. lol … I have much more to lose but it’s a start … YOU CAN DO THIS!!! One day at a time 🙂

  3. I called a friend for help one afternoon. I was at the bottom of myself and didn’t want to live anymore. Within minutes four people showed up.

    They drove me to a 12-month discipleship program where I spent the next 365 intensely digging into my past to find healing for my future. Because of their willingness to help, God has changed me. That was in 2009. He is still changing me.

    I had to get to the bottom of myself, and God had to bring me there because I wouldn’t listen any other way.

    Stupid pride!

  4. I was at the very bottom of despair, riddled with PTSD and depression before I asked for help. I was embarrassed and ashamed that I could not control the situation on my own. After years of prayer (my own and others on my behalf), therapy, pills and tears I leveled out. After hearing Ken talk openly about some of his struggles I decided that I too could talk about and listen to others talk about life’s struggles. The Bible tells us that God has given each of us gifts. My gift has been to show compassion to and listen to others that need an ear to bend. Some of my worst times were when I had no one to talk with. I do not want anyone to feel that way. Sometimes we just need to listen. These are also some of the reasons I recommend “Fully Alive” to others.

  5. Hi Ken, Thank you for posting this. I can truly say Lord I Need Help. I am getting ready to leave my job and go to another state, To moms house to retrieve my stuff in her basement. Not to live at her house. At this point I need Help. Don’t know where I will live, Don’t know where I will work. I am getting out of the woods where I have stayed the last year at my daughters house. God knows this 60 year old healthy female cannot take the woods any longer. Now that I am getting out, Thank you lord. But now I need Gods help. I am not sure where the money will come from. Thank you Lord for the healing of hearts between my daughter and I.

  6. “I need help”
    How often in the past 22 years I have used that statement to either God or to a friend I cherish—hundreds, thousands…

    It took me being hospitalized with depression before I reached firmly for the life line and humbled myself to say “I need help” Now if I need to say “I need help” I do, however I also ask God to show me if it’s HIS will, how I can help myself and learn and grow from this situation, and in many cases, it’s to let others be blessed to be a blessing. That took a bit of time for me to understand that God may want me to ask for help not only for myself, but so that others can be led to use their gifts in full.

  7. how about “please forgive me” … I had to do that recently when my dear husband and children discovered my online addiction to porn … we have been married 23 years this coming Nov. 9th … but with God’s help and my husband’s and my children’s willingness to forgive me of this horrendous sin … we are mending fences every day and I had to sit down in front of our 5 children admit what I was doing wrong and why it was wrong and then ask for forgiveness … NOT easy to do … but I feel so clean now … God has been so good to me … He (God) also saved me after my only sibling, my brother, Randy was brutally murdered Feb. 11, 1988 … I was only 22 at the time … going through a separation from my first husband (he was horribly abusive alcoholic and had threatened to shoot me) … I had a 2 year old daughter at the time and had to ask my mother to let me move back home … and my brother was estranged at the time from his quadraplegic wife (she was driving drunk and flipped the car and broke her neck) … that wasn’t the reason for his separation from her … long story … anyhow … my brother and I had always been close despite the fact that he was 4 years older than me … he always had my back … and I also survived multiple sexual abusive attempts by my evil step dad from the time I was 10 until I moved out right after I graduated high school and moved in with my Gram … I have not had an easy road, but God has been right by my side through it all … this last situation with my sin with porn was the most awful thing I have ever had to confess in my entire life … but God is so good and He worked wonders in my husband’s heart and helped him to stay with me and we now have all electronic devices protected by Covenant Eyes 🙂 I have not had an easy life … and we are estranged from my oldest daughter and our only granddaughter due to the man that she’s married to … he’s evil to the core and she doesn’t “see” it yet … I would love to tell my many stories as an inspiration to others that are suffering … there is a very bright light at the end of the sin tunnel … JESUS! I was fortunate to meet you, Ken, when you were in Williamsport, PA last fall … it was the day before my most recent foot surgery … and I’m getting a full/total knee replacement done next Friday July 19th … prayers appreciated 🙂

    1. My favorite part of your story, other than your courageous honesty is this “there is a very bright light at the end of the sin tunnel” What an encouragement your story is to others. BTW your “sin” is no less “horrendous” than any other. I honor and respect you for your honesty and your hope.

      1. Thank you for your kind words Ken 🙂 I just lost my Grandmother on Tuesday … she was 92 and is now home with the Lord … but it came suddenly and quite unexpectedly as she was doing so well … had gotten better to leave the hospital, did a few days at the county care facility for therapy and rehab for strength and was able to go back to her personal care home 5 days earlier than thought … she saw that as “home” other than Heaven … on the same day the Lord saw fit to take her home, we were in the ER with my step dad, not sure if he was having a heart attack or stroke … so I have had a very tense and sad, emotional week … her funeral is Monday … she is the only grandparent I have ever had and oh how I will miss her … but just knowing all the sights and things she is receiving is Heaven is such a blessing! My daughter and I are headed to Harrisburg, PA for 3 days, leaving tomorrow lunch time for a 2 day horse convention … and then home Sunday … funeral Monday … and a total left knee replacement on Friday … I just pray God doesn’t decide to throw anymore into the mix right now … I know He will never give us more than we can handle but … seriously … my Gram passes as we are in the hospital with another loved one?

        1. Hi, Sandra. I so appreciate your honesty, faith and humbleness! You have been through so many negative things in your life and I would ask you to consider this. It isn’t God throwing these things at you. Satan is very real and alive and his minions are working all around us to make us stumble, fall, and lose faith in our Lord. Be thankful, and I know you are, that God is always with us through the good times and the worst times in our lives. But Satan will keep trying until we breathe our last. God bless you always and please keep encouraging those around you. You have a very powerful story!

          1. Hi Karen, Thank you for your kind response … it’s has been very tough lately … got through my knee surgery okay … doing intensive outpatient therapy that has been very hard going … but I’m “going” … lol … have to … don’t really have an option. I didn’t mention that we had to also try to figure out how to fly in my uncle from out of state for my gram’s funeral … he had just gotten out of the hospital after being found at home alone after three days alone, in kidney failure and drug withdrawal … broke one shoulder and dislocated the other one … so we had a complete invalid to take care of … it was so sad to see him like that … the funeral was very hard on the entire family .. but we got through … it just felt like I was being bombarded with so much at one time it really makes your head spin …

  8. I am big on “I can just do it faster if I do it myself”. Asking for help and more importantly “letting” people help me is not so easy. Thanks for this post!

  9. ‘Fully Alive’ is certainly thought-provoking and has great advice, but
    the problem with following Christ is that, in my experience, someone
    with Asperger’s Syndrome, that ‘gift’ you talk about that you were shown
    by your teacher, well…not everyone has a place in the world. I
    know I’m capable of doing great things, but I’m treated as invisible by
    people the more I try to show my true self. Yes, that’s why, despite
    growing up in the Christian church for the first part of my existence,
    it’s hard for me to believe in a loving God. Frankly, I see God as a bully to me. Do you know what hell is?
    It’s having abilities and wanting to have a positive impact…but not
    being allowed to because the rest of the world sees your soul as totally
    unacceptable! The inability to fully act upon your heart’s desire is the same as not having any abilities or good qualities at all.

  10. GOD’S JUST been talking to me about Joseph.

    A little background….i’m 53 years young..with two daughters [Emily is nearly 24 and Katie is 27].

    I’m divorced but with God’s help my beloved friend Margie is still are very dear friend and we work well as co-parents for the young Women.

    Being tragedy-wracked….[ my brother died of cancer at 46 leaving a young family…my mother died two years later following which Jesus took me to heaven but i got scared and asked to come back early…….my Dad has struggled with heart bypass/valve replacement operations and pace-maker implants and my other brother has also now had multiple heart-atacks and it’s God’s Word that he will pull through.]

    I’ve now had a mental and emotional breakdown andfollowing two weeks in Psych Hospital I’m living day to day.

    In a psalm 46 it says God is a very present help in trouble. I NEED that HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    My Career is in tatters with breakdown. Doing some art therapy has helped me immensely. God showed me that the devil wanted to kill me long ago but God wouldn’t let him. Thank God!!!!!!!!!!

    God has also commenced a “DNA Rebuild ” in a process God told us that is called : “Symbiosis”. It means when 2 species become intimately ONE for mutual purposes. God said it is a foundational work because people with genetic defects will come to my friend’s ministry and God will deliver them and heal them by Jesus’ Ministry/Anointing. Last week God told us that just as God builds DNA in us….the devil copycatted evil DNA in us at birth and only Jesus can Undo that deadly DNA. God also said to us that cancer comes from the devil placing cancer-nodules into people when they are little and then the devil calls forth the cancer at a later point and the people die quickly. Again only Jesus[the Anointed Word of God] can remove the nodules. In this counselling I’ve received I’ve had breakthrough in areas of physical headings. I asked the Holy Spirit what He wanted me to share and he said this:

    God the Father has also entered into the forays with the devil against this counselling which i attend which to me suggests that it must be a big thing to help for the opposition to fight so hard.

    When Jesus told us about the cancer nodule thing I found it very fascinating to know that that is how cancer comes…..from an evil spiritual implant from the devil into young ones and then the mongrel calls it forth [ again copycatting God] later in people’s lives. It answers the whys and wherefores that people always have when a loved one gets cancer and dies…people wonder why did it happen?…was it diet etc? I wish I’d known this when my brother was sick with cancer. I hate everything the devil stands for…with a Passion!!!!!!!

  11. i asked for help to quite smoking, drinking, drugs & coffee and the lord heard and offered me His helping hand I have clean and sober these past 6.5 years thanks to the words I Need Help

  12. where i can get the cool t-shirt in 3xtl so right for the times Phil. 4:13

Leave a Comment