You are currently browsing comments. If you would like to return to the full story, you can read the full entry here: “A Tribute to My Dad, a POW, and a Veteran of Two very Different Wars”.
You are currently browsing comments. If you would like to return to the full story, you can read the full entry here: “A Tribute to My Dad, a POW, and a Veteran of Two very Different Wars”.
Comments
i read this today with a heavy heart. i cannot believe that anyone can say that because someone has alzheimers it is ok to “divorce” them from your life. my mother also lost her battle with the disease on christmas day 2007. my father stayed by her side to the very end. that is the kind of love you don’t see anymore. for someone to want to divorce the person they love because of a disease they have no control over is horrible to me. thank you for sharing your story and standing up against stupidity and ignorance. i am standing beside you!!!!
My Grandfather could no longer drive as he suffered from a palsie condition and had to live in a retirement home in Colorado. My Grandmother suffered from Alzheimer’s for the last six years of her life, and had to live in a separate full care nursing home about a mile away from where my Grandfather stayed. My Grandfather would walk to where she stayed every day, twice a day, to see her and would talk to her, hold her hand, and encourage her to talk to him. He never lost hope that she would someday recover and be able to regain her faculties. He was a Christian man with little education, but his Faith in Christ motivated his entire Life. We sometimes pray to God for good things that do not happen, but my Grandfather never abandoned his Faith in Christ. Pat Robertson missed out on the opportunity of knowing my Grandfather, for if he had known him, I’m sure Pat would not have made the remark he made. When God created Adam and gave him charge over his Creation here on Earth, he placed in us humans, a consciousness and self-awareness that animals do not have, and because God created man to converse with God, and be his friend, he also entrusted us with being considerate, kind, and caring for those around us. Abandoning a spouse, loved one, or even someone you have never met, just because they are no longer competent, is abandoning what God created you to be. Pat Robertson needs to apologize for his Cruel remark and admit he was out of touch with God’s motivation for creating the Human Race. None of us are right all the time, but we need to be able to admit it when we have wronged God, and by making cruel comments have wronged others as well.
Dear Ken,
Pat Robertson’s comments were quite distressing to me. Alzheimer’s is a terrible disease that creeps in and steals away our loved one. It is often a slow fade that leaves family and loved ones hurting. Robertson’s comments not only are far out of any Biblical truth, they are also selfish and uncaring. In sickness and in health…till death do us part. That was the vow I took and take very seriously. I love my husband. While I pray this illness never touches our loves, if it is God’s will, I will stay true to my vow and honor and care for the love of my life. While it may hurt, I will trust and know the God is in control and that despite the pain and hurt of living through each day, I will cling to His truth and pray for His peace and comfort and know God is in it. Run from it? No. Robertson should be ashamed of himself. He should pray and seek the Lord’s wisdom and discernment before speaking. Sad that he has missed the boat – sadder still that he presents a confusing picture of Christians. God bless you.
Mary,
I love the phrase, “cling to His truth.” That is our standard. Thank you for your comment.
Ken
Dear Ken,
My dad was diagnosed with dementia last week. He is 78 years old. He was scheduled to have back surgery on October 6, but his medical doctor advised against it because the dementia is progressing so fast. God has been working in their and my lives so vividly recently. My parents lived on the other side of town, about 30 minutes away from me in a house with a big yard to take care of. My grandson and I were riding our bicycles in my neighborhood and saw a house on the street directly behind my house in a cul-de-sac for sale. They liked it and purchased it. They have been in it less than a month and daddy seemed to get bad overnight. I know God allowed them to move close to me. I am so thankful. I love my daddy so much and can’t bear to see him getting so feeble, weak and not remembering how to write his own name. He has always been my rock. Thank you for your blog. I know what you went through with your dad is what we are beginning to face. He has sciatic nerve problems that keep him in pain too. My parents are Christians and my mother gives God all the glory every day for revealing Himself to them. Please continue to spread your blog!
Shirley Waters
Dothan, AL
Shirley,
Oh my! So sorry about this recent news. Bless you as you walk this difficult road.
Ken
Ken…
You have learned well the truth and depth of relationships. I’m glad that as Jesus died on a cross for me…more than a thousand years before I drew my first breath…He chose to do so rather than forsake me as someone who “wouldn’t be all there” for the first 42 years of my life…and as He drew His final breath He looked at those crucifying Him and said, “Forgive them Father…they know not what they do”…I guess maybe they weren’t all there either. What a Savior…
TFarley,
A compassionate and proper response.
Ken
Thanks so much for reminding us all that God would never leave us or forsake us no matter what state of mind or health we’re in. May we never forget our loved ones even if they don’t remember us. Christ showed us true love even when we were sinners may we show others true love even when they are old and feeble and can’t remember us.
Thanks so much for writing this. My last memories of my Grandmother were of when she suffered from Alzeimers and I am still so glad I got to visit her before she went to see Jesus.
Great thoughts Ken! I shared similar concerns at https://www.kansasbob.com/2011/09/should-alzheimer-spouse-divorce.html.
I was very upset with Mr. Robertson’s statement. My Dad suffered for 5 years with Alzheimer’s disease. My Mom was able to take care of him during those years. Her health also declined. He was like a small child for quite sometime. My Mom was able to care for him until his death. She stuck with him thru cleanups and accidents. We children would try and help and Dad always wanted Mom. I took him home with me and was going to get him to stay with me overnight. Well, when nighttime came he started crying and wanting Mom. We had to take him back home in the middle of the night. When we all discussed putting him in the nursing home within 4 days he took a turn for the worse, and passed away. My sister and I sat with him throughout his final night holding his hand and trying to bring down his fever, but to no avail. Hospice care helped so much and were fantastic. Mom had some health problems after he passed, but is now doing good. She said she would have never have left her love during the crisis. We still miss him, but know he is in God’s hands. Thank God for Godly parents! God would not abandon an Alzheimer’s patient!
Alzheimers is an awefull disease but family is to be there for family no matter what. The bible says till death do us part for marriage. People need to become more like Christ and die to “SELF” to live a good life. It’s the selfish who walk away from committments made to one another. Marriage is not just about what you can get but what you can GIVE. There is lots of help out there for families.
Love that you have shared your heart about this subject.
As a Nurse, I worked primarily in the emergency department and had the opportunity to meet many people with Ahlzheimers and many family members of those stricken with the disease. I dont see how a family member could just turn their back on a loved one as Pat Robertson implies. Even though they did not recognize family members at times, the interaction between them conveyed love one for another.
As a Christian, I dont see how we could follow God’s commandment to “love your neighbor as yourself” and turn our backs on a family relationship. they may not appear to “be there” or not recognize, but they may be enjoying a past part of their lives that only they can comprehend. Its not for us to say, nor Pat Robertson. Only God can judge us and our motives and our heart…I’ll leave the judgement to Him and not man.
Gary, Your last statement is true. My intent was not to judge the man but to challenge his statement in light of God’s word and our experience. Thank you for your comment. Keep up your important work.
Ken
i am a nurse in a nursing home. i take care of 45 patients, ranging from rehab to long term care, ranging from knowing who they are to not having a clue. still; God knows who they are. I look in these patients charts for medical info and find they had a life before they got here. I find families who care, and those who don’t. The ones who don’t tell me its too hard to see them like this; yet when the families don’t come anymore, i see the effects on my patients; they stop eating; stop drinking; they know. yes, they may not know their name anymore, and all their needs must be taken care of; but did not Jesus tell us ‘ if u do this to the least of these,u have done it unto me?’. Then, how in good concscience can someone like Robertson say such an asinine proclamation? he is a wolf in sheeps clothing; he is not a man of God; he fleeces his flock while his political agenda continues. Such are the false prophets that Jesus spoke of, such are they who must stand in judgement on the great day before God; did not Jesus say ‘ on that day, many people will say lord lord, did we not cast out demons, heal those who were sick in thy name?’ and Jesus says; depart from me, i never knew u.’ maybe Robertson needs to make sure that God still knows him, cause i don’t beleive at this point God does. alzheimers is a bad disease, affects not only the patient, but the family as well; as a nurse it is my job, my calling, my responsiblity, not only as a born again christian but also as a nurse, to care for them to the best of my ablility. if i leave work with a clean concscience, then i have no problem when i arrive home , get on my knees, and pray for those i have just left. compassion in this world is at a preminum, many are cast aside, unwanted, not needed, too much trouble to deal with, too old; the list goes on; i wonder what jesus thinks of all of this; this is not what he taught, not what he died for; it makes me so angry; has robertson took a walk around a nursing home, to see the suffering ones? has he offered a word of encourgement to those who may not know Jesus at their final hour? would he cast off his wife if she becomes ill; God help him; if anyone agrees with me, let me know.
Good article! My sister has alzheimers. It is devastating disease yet God holds her in the palm of His mighty hand. We live in a fallen world if we did not none of these diseases would be upon any of us. God is good and gives us the power to keep loving those who need us the most though they keep staring off into space they know that someone who loves them is there. We must give them the dignity of the acknowledgement that we recognize they are not “dead” they are still with us and LOVED!
Thank you for sharing this…very touching. Perfectly spoken.
May God fogive this obviously SENILE/ALZHEIMERS man! The only excuse for saying this is that you yourself are not thinking right. Pat, do us all a favor and QUIT!!!!! You are not our ‘collective Christian voice’ and you have become an embarrassment. Stop hanging onto what once was….because you are now doing more damage to the Christian cause than you would EVER have dreamed possible.
I have been a caregiver to many Alzheimer’s patients, and find it very rewarding to find ways to connect and engage with them. They also return love and caring in the ways they can.
Lorraine,
My dad could play a mean game of Kings in the Corner right up till near the end. And he cheated with great skill.
Toward the end he would play imaginary card games and remember all the imaginary cards he had played and what cards he had left.
He won all his imaginary games too.
Playing with him was a way to connect.
Ken
Amen! You said what so many of us have thought and grieved over as we heard Pat Robertson’s ‘theology’ on marriage. Thank you for your very real, very touching and very truthful look at what I believe God teaches. Your message is a blessing!
While I would want my spouse to see for my well being and tend to the affairs that I couldnt.. I would hope that she could start new relationships.. I love her..I want her to be happy..Im ok with that..Just because you have a divorce decree..doesnt mean you turn your back on them
BTW..If you are stressing over Pat…you need to get a life….To be so-called Christians yall are pretty judgemental…He shouldnt be your guide..High-minded Hypocrites
Wow!
You are right. Pat shouldn’t be our guide. The Bible, God’s Word should, and no where can I find it says it’s okay to divorce a spouse if they are sick. Marriage vows say, “In sickness and in health, till death do us part.”
Irony is not lost with me. The man who deems this touching blog to be judgmental, passes judgment on it.
i say this, perfectly aware of the catch 22 you left for those who might respond to you.
This is my very first time to ever respond to an article. My dad died of Alzheimers. Thank you for very meaniful and thoughtful comments. My dad meant the world to me – all the way to the end! See you in Heaven, Dad!
Glynn,
What a reunion that will be.
Ken
Psalm 139
Alzheimer’s Version
Listen, Dad,
God sees you, he knows what’s happened,
He knows you.
He knows when you sit and when you sleep.
He knows your tangled thoughts; he knows them straight.
He knows when you’re not here
And where you are when you’re gone.
He knows your ways.
Before your words are lost before they get to your tongue,
He knows what you were about to say, what you meant.
He knows you.
There’s nowhere you can go, Dad, where God won’t go with you,
Where God’s Spirit won’t comfort you, can’t hold you.
As your light turns to night, even this darkness won’t hide you.
God sees you clearly because dark is light to him.
He’ll go with you.
And he thinks of you, Dad,
Often.
The number of times, the many ways God cares for you,
If we tried to count them, would outnumber
Sand on a beach.
So you can rest easy,
While I count.
I’m counting Mom’s tears,
I’m counting the slights, the indignities, the affronts
To your good pride.
I’m counting the frayed edges, the missing pieces of your
Lost person.
But we’ll get through this, Dad,
Because when you awake—everyday and someday—you
Will be with him.
And someday I too will awake with him, with you.
–Richard J. DeWaard
The Banner -December 2008
Nancy,
Beautiful
Ken
This is a very heartwarming but emotional story for me because i too lost my mother to this terrible disease.The disease that takes every bit of dignity from a person.You touched my heart today for sure and bought many many memories.Like the watch story we all have our favorite moments with them in that state.My mother who was ver witty in her day, said to me one morning as i bent over to kiss her.She grabs my nose and asked is that yours.i laughed and told her ‘yes,thats mine….she smiled and said “did you pick it yourself and then she just stared into space like there was no conversation at all…..Very degrading disease.Thanks for sharing your story and i wonder too, what would happen!
Dear Ken,
I appreciate your heartfelt blog. My mother is in the last stages of Alzheimer’s, so I know the heartbreak of watching a beloved parent cease being the person you’ve always known. It doesn’t stop our memories of them, however, and she is and will always be my Mom!
I too was disgusted when I read a news article about Pat Robertson’s comment. So disgusted that I was going to write to him, but first I wanted to make sure I knew exactly what he said. This article https://www.slate.com/id/2303989/?GT1=38001 reveals that Pat Robertson is actually being accused of something he didn’t really say or mean. Don’t get me wrong–I am NO Pat Robertson fan!! Have never watched him and don’t plan to. But what he said was that IF the man in question was going to go ahead and see other women, THEN he needed to divorce his wife. He never once advocated divorce because the wife was sick. He also goes on to say that this question is beyond his ability to answer. All the news outlets, however, didn’t give that part of the story.
The part where Robertson did say it was like a death and that the person is gone is true on some levels. My mom stopped being my mother when she couldn’t remember who I was anymore. Now she has no clue who she is or where she is and can’t do anything for herself. It is like a death. We’ve grieved over the loss of HER. Her body is still with us, however, and we’ll love on her until God takes her home. But the Mom I knew is gone.
Shelly,
Thank you so much for your comment. The active dad I knew was no longer in view, but I still believe on some level he was aware of our love. There is no doubt that this is such a difficult issue. I cannot speak to Pat’s intentions, however his words struck a deep cord of hurt in the hearts of many.
I hope you read tomorrow’s response to all the comments. Thank you again for your comment.
Ken
You can go online to CBN and find the program when Pat gave his answer.Shelley you are right, he does not say what people are saying. That is what I did when someone told me about it. I wanted to hear for myself. It is a shame that people believe everything they hear without checking it out. Ken you need to go and listen to Pat Robertson yourself instead of judging. The news outlets did not give the whole story. May God Bless all of you and help you to know the truth. The truth will set you free and this gossip will stop.
My marriage vows said “For better, for worse, in sickness AND in health”. People just SAY words. They don’t always really mean them or actually understand what it is that they are saying.
Thank you, Ken. Powerful words that needed to be said. My mother-in-law also suffered from Alzheimer’s disease. Dad loved her and stayed by her side to the end. What a legacy of faithfulness he passed down to the family!
Ok, I cried. It was a beautiful story. Reminds me of the starfish story: makes a difference to that one. And this one. And this one.
Dear Ken,
My godly mother had dementia, wasn’t officially diagnosed at Alszheimers, but did not know any of her children at the end, but loved to sing the hymns of faith. Thanks for your blog. It appaulds me to read of Pat Robertson position on a person with Alszheimers. When my mother was still able to communicate a wee bit, she would say, “My mind has gone bye, bye, but the Holy Spirit prayers for me and my loved ones so I bow my head in prayer and know He knows my loved ones and their needs.
Thanks again for your response.
Beautiful. Thank you so much for speak for those of us who don’t have the forum! Thank you for speaking for those who don’t have the words anymore.
God Bless you Ken.
God Bless those who suffer.
Pat Robertson apparently does not have anyone in his family that suffers from dementia. I thought that he as supposed to be a man called of God. Does he think that God will just forget about him if he ever suffers from that disease? I could not believe his words when I heard them on the radio! What a joke!!!! My mother suffered with dementia for several years before she when home to be with her God. I could have never walked away from her for so many reasons, but mainly because I loved her! Apparently the man that he was counselling did not love his wife and was just looking for an excuse to divorce. They are NOT dead, they are suffering from an illness.
I hope that someday when Pat Robertson is suffering from a similar fate, he can remember his counselling to others on what they should do. Will his family walk away from him? Should be quite interesting.
I quit watching Pat years ago, after writing a letter about my disappointment at things he had said about our then president George Bush. I was also disgusted when a couple wrote in asking him what they should do about their 14 year old son’s art class in which there was a nude female model for them to paint. He said it would be fine since it was in the name of “art”.
My grandfather passed away 2 years ago from Dementia and we were so happy to have him for the 91 years he was alive even though the last 5 were very difficult for the family. We had a surprise birthday for his 90th and he knew who we all were that day 🙂
What ever happened to “in sickness and in health?” As a preacher Pat Robertson must have quoted this phrase hundreds of times. Shame on you Pat Robertson. To say it’s OK to divorce someone because they are sick is just wrong!!!
Ken,
I want to verify all the facts about this issue with Pat Robertson saying ‘Its ok to divorce a spouse with Alzheimers’.
Could you share with me when and/or where you found his comment. I am trying to do some research on it and cannot find the clip !
If you can provide this I would greatly appreciate it.
Thanks,
George,
My mother just passed away this Feb. having been in a locked down home for Alzheimer’s patients for 2 1/2 years. My father who died last Aug. gave 4 years plus giving her the best care he knew how prior to her going to the home. My siblings and I were at her bedside and count it a privilege to have been there to see her slipping so gently and calmly into her Father’s arms. For the hour we were there before, we sang hymns, recited scripture, held her hand, gave her kisses, and prayed with her.
Did she know we were there? We don’t know. What we do know is that she was still our mother. She had loved, cared, and sacrificed her time and wants, and sometimes her needs for us. How could we do any less?
Oh, Ken. I just read this to my family and I had to fight tears. You go, Ken!!! The world NEEDS to hear this message!
Sending love and hugs to a brother in Yeshua/Jesus,
Abigail
Feeling from one who nurse my wife through liver cancer, never once thought about leaving her. When she was escorted in to heaven it was my desire to go with her. but she is there waiting for me.
Pat Robertson has done a lot of good for the Lord, but he is desperately wrong to suggest that it’s ok to divorce a spouse with Alzheimer’s. Till DEATH do you part – FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE – those were the vows I took and so it shall be. This man honored his father till the very end. Lynn Sargent I salute you!
Dear Ken,
My mother had just passed away last year of the age of 87 after more than a year on bed. On her last year of her life even do she was a changed person I know she knew she is loved. I could really feel the pains in your heart to hear/read those unwanted comments more so to a person whom you expect he would be accommodating and more caring.Time and again we are hurt and even wonder the spiritual contents of some proclamation of people whom we looked as leaders in Christian faith now. This only shows that the enemy is really at work, we have to pray for all our Ministers for more wisdom, discernment and protection. Lastly Ken, the reason you are hurt it is because you really love your father.
Thank you for reminding us that “every person no matter how rich has a need and every person no matter how poor has a gift,” that we are created in God’s image no matter what, and that God’s DNA is still running through our soul no matter what our mind has done to us.
Hello my brother in Christ!!
I spent 10yrs of my life working as a nurse in a nursing home.One area I worked in was the secured unit in which our alzimers residents lived for their safety!!I loved these precious people so very much and want to say when they were ready to leave this world their was a greater level of peace when a loved one was present!!
One night I came into work to find a resident I knew lived her life for the Lord on the mission field was dieing.I asked permission to remain with her and much to my suprise was granted it!!I prayed with her,sang hymes to her and when I told her her husband and Jesus were waiting for her she peacefully left for Heaven!!The room was so full of peace and the glory of God!!He was there with us!!I found out later that I was an answer to her sons prayers,he could not get there until after her passing!!
I can share so many stories of where I have seen these people still know the things of God ,sit at the piano and play to the glory of God and bless those around them!!OH yes these people are still there,the wedding vows say until death do us part!!
I do not agree with Pat Robertson’s statement at all. I believe in the “for better or worse, sickness and in health, til death do us part” and I am a God fearing Christian, but I have also learned, very recently, that their are exceptions! I work in an assisted living/independent retirement facility and have for the past 3 years. I have seen the mental decline of many residents in these 3 years and it is heart breaking! Many of them are on their own as their loved ones have passed on and we have several couples residing in the building. My question to you is…what do you think when the spouse who is not suffering any decline turns to violence as the way to deal with the other spouses deficits? I was witness to something last week that if I would not have been where I was at the time I truly believe that this man would have hit/punched his wife. She touched his shoulder and he drew back and she flinched and he then dropped his hand when he saw me coming toward them in the hallway and then proceeded to cuss at her instead. He has been turned in to elder abuse services for the sake of the victim. She cannot help what is happening to her and who knows what is going on behind closed doors. Not saying that divorce is the answer but definitely a separation~she needs to be removed from the home or he needs to move somewhere else. I do not believe that intervention can help. She is not the person she was and he cannot deal with that. Some people do not have the compassion to live with this day in and day out. Just a perspective…
My husband, who passed away this last December, led his mother to the Lord during her last stages of Alzheimer’s. He knew she couldn’t communicate, but he gave her the gospel and said to her, somewhere inside, your spirit is hearing this, and I am praying you’ll say this prayer, in your heart, as I pray it. (She couldn’t speak anymore). After my husband prayed “with her” she had TEARS streaming down her face!!!
Another testimony: A few years ago I was a home health aide with an 88 year old client with dementia. For 3 years I prayed every day on my way to work. My boss said I could only talk about God if the client brought the subject up–and Helen did NOT want to talk about Jesus! One day she saw on the news that a ice skater in his 30’s had a heart attack and died. God had shown me in a dream how she would come to the Lord a few days prior. After seeing the news she asked me about Jesus. I told her, after explaining again to her, that I would say a prayer like wedding vows, and if she agreed all she had to do was say “I do”…so I proceeded to pray something like this “Do you, Helen, believe that Jesus died on the cross for your sins?” She said “I DO!!!!” to each question! I left work with tears of JOY that day. She went to Heaven just a few weeks later. Thank you for starting this blog. God Bless you!!††
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What an excellent response. I’m sure there are many many more who could respond in like manner. I too was shocked at his comment. Where does that leave the wedding vows made before God and witnesses to love, honour, cherish in SICKNESS & health. Are we then free to dismiss the rest of the vows and only apply the “richer” and “better” parts of the vows and ignore or do away with the others when it suits us? Then where is the line drawn? If my husband loses his job and the prospects of taking care of me financially the way he always has does that free me to divorce because the husband I married is no longer there? Or what if he becomes disabled in a car accident? The man I married is no longer there so am I o.k. to divorce? The possibilities are endless. Either we commit to the vows made at the altar or they are a sham. Till DEATH do us part. What God has joined together let NO MAN put asunder. I understand extenuating circumstances eg. physical danger and the like, but those are extreme cirtcumstances.
Beautiful account of your Father and your experience with his disease. Touched me, thank you!!!
Pat who?
Dear Ken
Thank you for writing this blog. I watched my ex husbands grandmother suffer through alzheimers until her passing several years ago. ANyways I argue with the idea that “They are not there”. Although Hilda wasnt able to recognize people and carry on meaningful conversations (With us) she was there. You just didnt know what time frame she was living in from moment to moment. Also her first grandson had just been born just shortly before she died. When he was in the room something would trigger her memories and she would be as lucid as she was the day I met her. Unfortunately as soon as he was taken from the room she was back to not knowing anyone again. It was quite miraculous to see the bond between greatgrandmother and greatgrandson be strong enough to break the Alzheimers hold on her. So she is still in there somewhere. I encourage everyone who is living with or aquainted with someone who as Alzheimers to listen and you will learn something from thier past and maybe will see them again even if only for a short glimpse. Treasure each moment with them.
I am a hospice nurse and in all of my wanderings I see many Alzheimer’s patients. To think that anyone can cast them off is intolerant to me. I have worked in the hospital and the compassion there is diminished. However, in the nursing homes and assisted living, these people still have lives. I admire anyone who cares for people with Alzheimer’s. You know the patient is still here but not. As long as we can still give them love and compassion, we should. Divorcing someone with Alzheimer’s is wrong on so many levels I can’t begin to think of them all. It will be interesting if one day Pat Robertson ends up with this horrific disease or one like it. I hope someone will take more compassion on him than what he is showing for the other people with it.
I, too, can’t believe what Pat suggests. I knew a lady once who told me the day she went to see her mother, and her mother didn’t know who she was, was the day she left the home and never returned. She said her mother was “dead to her” that day! I think that’s a copout- she just didn’t want to be hurt by or have to bother about her mother, anymore. I told her that I could never just walk away from my Mom or Dad- they might not know who I am, but I certainly know who they are. My Mom has been dead 17 years. My Dad is 91 and is developing Alzheimer’s. Thank God he has a wonderful wife who loves him and looks out for him- and three sons and myself, who do what we can to help out, too. My dad is a WWII (and Korea) veteran, too. He was a wonderful Daddy to us- many of the kids from the neighborhood we grew up in also are very fond of my Dad. He could do anything and fix anything- and often did, not for just his family but for everyone. He was a decent, hard-working, law-abiding, tax paying citizen who “paid his dues” in the wars- and set a wonderful example of selflessness when he took care of our mother for 11 years before she passed away. I am so proud of him, and I would never turn my back on him. I sympathize with the lady who said she took her father home with her to give her mom a break- then at night he just wanted his wife. My dad is the same way- he’ll tolerate you visiting or taking him for a drive, but in the end he just wants his wife- it’s like he’s a little kid, wanting his mother. So heartbreaking to see my six-foot two, “go to guy” father reduced to acting like a child. When I want to turn away or not show up, all I have to do is remember all the things my Dad did for me growing up and even after I was an adult. He’s been there for my kids and now MY grandchildren. Everybody loves “Papa”. By suggesting that a person can divorce a spouse because they are sick negates the sacred marriage vows. And someone interpreting his contention would be just as apt to turn their backs on an ailing parent (which would break one of the Ten Commandments). What about children who are helpless for one reason or another? Everyone needs to remember that once they were a child, and they were taken care of by their parent(s). Pat really needs to think about and retract that statement!!
Dear Ken,
I just heard this distressing statement a few days ago on the news — how Dare he (Mr. Robertson) abuse his public status in this way! I am a care-giver with a small elderly-care home, have taken care of countless elderly and done numerous hospices (we don’t number them because that would take away from each ones individualism!) In my experience, each Alzheimer’s victim is different, no-one really fits into a ‘text-book’, so to ‘lump’ all people together, in and of itself, is SO wrong!! Not everyone loses the part of the brain that recognizes loved ones, in fact, sometimes they Never lose that part and it is their strongest part! So to put everyone into one category ‘they don’t know anyone’ is so far off base!! The ‘disease’ is still being explored because of the vast diversity of it.
One of my favorite ladies with this illness was the sweetest, kindness, most gentle lady ever. Up to the end, if we needed a word spelled correctly, she was the one to ask — a ‘walking dictionary’!! We also had Bible dicussions regularly, very intellegent ones, too! So if she ‘didn’t know anything’ — how could this happen???
I also experienced a couple who got a divorce upon diagnosis, ‘to protect their money, because care is so expensive and Medicaide will pay for the care’ (you can’t have much money for Medicaide to step in). The ex-wife actually told me this. And that is what, I believe, is the root of Mr. Robertson’s statement — MONEY. Another thing I have seen over and over again is . . . YOU CAN’T TAKE IT WITH YOU!!!
‘And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is LOVE’ Hate to say it, but maybe Mr. Robertson should read my Bible!!!
I saddened if this si true. I know someone in a nursing home still in her 50’s. Hubby goes there everyday and eats with her. Think he enyoys seeing his wife young and like that/ Dont think so. But he is keeeping his commitment. Amen to that.
I received your blog as a forward. I have NEVER responded to a blog but I had to comment on this one. My mother passed away from Alzheimers. Her final two years were in a nursing home because my dad couldn’t do everything that needed to be done for her. He went every day to eat with her and hold her hand. He showed us and everyone else in that nursing home exactly what unconditional love means and what it looks like and made a huge impact on the lives of ALL of the workers there. Pat Robertson will answer to God for his ungodly and unBiblical stance. My Dad will NOT have to answer to God for how he demonstrated what God’s love is.