You are currently browsing comments. If you would like to return to the full story, you can read the full entry here: “A Tribute to My Dad, a POW, and a Veteran of Two very Different Wars”.
You are currently browsing comments. If you would like to return to the full story, you can read the full entry here: “A Tribute to My Dad, a POW, and a Veteran of Two very Different Wars”.
Comments
AMEN! I agree with Ken, wholeheartedly!! We just celebrated
our 59th Wedding Anniversary and will
always be together whatever the Lord
has in store for us in the future!
Thank you for saying this for all of us, Ken!
Thanks, Ken, for posting this blog. I too was shocked at Pat Roberson’s opinion about Alzheimers patients. My sister’s husband currently struggles with this disease and is in a nursing facility for Alzheimers patients. My sister cared for him until a few months ago when it became very apparent that that was no longer possible for her to do. She goes and visits with him almost every day (30 miles away). You are right…they may not know who we are, but we know who they are and they are still precious to us. Shame on Pat Roberson.
like so many others who have responded, I have had a family member with this terrible disease. My mother passed away in March after having Alzheimer’s for almost 15 years. At first, we didn’t know, and when we did, it was still hard to deal with – seeing my “larger than life” mother pretending she understood what was going on, bewildered, made me mad and sad at the same time!
I’m not sure what Pat Robertson was thinking, doesn’t really matter, anyway. I love the statement from the story that “she might not know me, but i know her.” That’s really what it’s all about. thanks so much for sharing your thoughts.
Ken, I know now why I never listened to much that Pat Robertson ever said. You are to be commended for how you stood by your father. My father took care of my mom after she had a very severe stroke and thought nothing of it. He stood by her until the bitter end like he thought he should have. After all we don’t ever neglect people we dearly love because they are to sick to take care of themselves, and we don’t do it because it’s our duty, we do it because we love them unconditionally. Also because it’s until death do we part with our spouses not when we get tired of them. WAY TO GO KEN DAVIS!! Your the better man. God Bless you and your mother, Charlotte Thompson.
My heart breaks as I read these stories. My mother passed away in January 2010. I miss her so much. I will never forget when I would go to visit her she would stretch out her little arms and come straight to me and tell me that she loved me. We would then hold hands and walk around outside and talk. When she got tired we would go back inside and I would sing the old gospel songs and play games with her and the other guest at her home away from home. One thing she never forgot how to do was pray. I was visiting with her one day and I told her that I had a headache and asked her to pray for me. If you had heard her you would never had known she had Alzheimers. I am now starting to volunteer at the place she stayed so that maybe I can bring a smile or laugh to others there. Mr. Robertson will never know the memories that he will miss. Yes, caring for someone with Alzheimers is a VERY difficult job but if you think about it, all of us at sometime are VERY difficult to deal with but our God never gives up on us or stops loving us.
Ken – AMEN! AMEN! AMEN! I could not believe Pat Robertson’s remark and was embarrassed that he as a “christian” would say such a thing. My mother is my mother until she dies and so is my husband and my daughter. I did not opt to love them only if everything was good. I am there until the bitter end, whether it be theirs or mine. God only knows and I pray for anyone who has a family member with Alzheimer’s. It is a horrible disease. God Bless You for your remarks!
My Mom died in 1989 with Alzheimers and a heart condition. I would give anything in the world to be able to sit with her, care for her, or tell her I loved her just one more time…whether she understood or not.
It doesn’t feel that long ago, but in 1994 my saintly grandmother had also forgotten who we were due to a tumor that took over that part of the brain. As my Dad visited her one day, he began to feel discouraged that “mom” didn’t recognize him anymore. Seconds later someone started playing the song “Holy Ground” in the next room. My Dad then saw his Mother lift her hand in praise while a tear rolled down her face. He realized then that although she didn’t recognize her son anymore, she still remembered the One who saved her. This brought us great comfort then and still does today; for because He lives she will know us again some day and “what a glorious day that will be!”
Thanks for your response to Pat Robertson. I cared for my father until I couldn’t and had to place him in a Nursing Home where he was taken care of and I visited everyday @ lunch time to see that he ate. My sister & brother visited also but our father had no idea where he was and did not recognize anyone but us, it didn’t stop our love for him and @ the age of 94 he went home with the Lord. I could not have left him, he was my Father!
I lost a wonderful parent of a illness, my dad treated her like a dog, Pat until you walk in any of our shoes please understand what we will and have gone through.
THANKS so much! Your experience shared with passion speaks so loudly. I pray everyone who reads this will listen with their hearts. I have walked this road of Alzheimers with two family members – it is
NOT easy but who would miss the bright moments and funny things these patients say? Precious memories are there too! Even when they can’t speak anymore, to see their eyes light up with momentary recognition or excitement makes every effort worthwhile
Tuere is a book”A Vow to Cherish” By Deborah Rany.also made into a movie of the same name that addresses this issue very well. It reaffirms ‘in sckness and in health till death do us part”. I found it a very poignant story.
This has hit right at home. My grandmother is in a nursing home today as a result of Alzheimer’s. My grandfather died two-and-a-half years ago and I believe it was directly due to his wife of almost 70 years having Alzheimer’s. Grandfather would have never considered divorce from grandmother, no matter what she had but especially not with Alzheimer’s. It is just too bad that for someone who is so popular, believed, and listed to to say such words as Robertson has said. It just really upsets me that he has said this…is that woman in the nursing home that has been my grandmother all these years now not because she has Alzheimer’s and doesn’t know me, my wife, or my boys when we go see her???
I too had a father that suffered with Alzheimers. He suffered from it for 7 years. I lived about and hour away and would see my parents about once twice a month. I could see the changes in him but at that time did not realize what it was. I could also see the frustration in my mother as my father became dependent. This is a man who survived getting run over at the age of 16 and having both his legs broke and left to heal on his own since back then the medical knowledge was not known. He worked as a factory worker, a preacher and also had odd jobs from time to time to take care of his family, and never once can I remember him complaining. Towards the end, he too lost the ability to communicate. Although he did not say words, you could tell that he had plenty to say. When my daughter was born, my father already had worsen and has she grew she seem to understand that grandpa was sick, but when they saw each other, I saw my dad smile. They played jumping together. My mother took care of him.
From time to time, she would have to have a caregiver come in to give her a break, and I know this was hard on her and him. I miss my father. He was and still is my father. He was a human being and did not ask for this awful sickness. I am not an over religous person, but if Pat Robertson claims to be a messenger of God, then what if God walks away simply because we are not there?
I try not to say anything bad or unfavorable about anyone in the ministry. How ever this is not a normal situation.
I will say I place P.R. in the same class with the many many false teachers on the “Christian Networks” who seem not to read the bible. Many make outragious statements and rediculous claims. Do not get me wrong I believe in devine healing and God’s protection because it has happened to me. I did not however have to send money or have faith in my faith. The Lord did it because of who He Is.
My opinion is that P.R. has not read his Bible for sometime as is the case with most of his Ilk.
I also believe that Money is the reason for all they do.
I think maybe Pat is suffering from delusions of granduer and has lost sight of who he Represents. Even if he thinks he is god he should not say some things.
ELM
Ken: I, too, totally understand this situation, as my own Mother lived her last three years in an Alzheimer’s Unit at a nursing home. She also got to the place where she really did not know members of her family, but I never saw her when she did not smile. It was as if she recognized our faces, but had no real idea of who we were. It is so sad – a form of living death. However, my Dad had been gone to our heavenly home for over 25 years before Mama “left us” mentally. Her two children, four grandchildren, and at that time two “greats,” were all she had, though she didn’t know us. I do think she knew she was very much loved. She was a wonderful Mom and excellent Christian example for all of us. We really do miss her!! God bless you all !
Becky Franks, Gainesville, GA.
Amen and amen! Thank you for sharing your story!
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A wonderful description of Christian love.
Pat Robertson’s family now knows what to do with him if he ends up with Alzheimer’s Disease! Let’s hope they have more compassion than he does and they know right from wrong.
Pat Robertson was back on the air, this past Monday, Sept. 26th. He was anxious to clarify his position on the statements the news media reported a week or so before. He certainly does not believe in divorce over a spouse being sick. He cited his own marriage which he and also his wife have had bouts of cancer and he also had heart surgery and the support they gave each other. Pat Robertson and Terry Meuusen both explained that he was responding to a question from a viewer who was asking about a friend who was in an adulterous situation and that his friends’ wife had alzheimers. Pat responded that this mans friend was living in sin and that it would be better for him to divorce his wife and not live in an adulterous situation. He emphasized that he does not agree with divorcing and gave scriptural references regarding marriage and divorce. Unfortunately, the news media that took statements made by him out of context as to the personal advice he was giving, has chosen not to air Pat Robertson’s explanation and statements made in a full context.
Many times the news media leads with a sound bite that is outrageous so that people will read the articles. It is important that we withhold judgement until we know all the facts.
God Bless you. I cared for my mother and now, my dad. It is a privilege to care and nurture those we love .. as they cared for and loved us. As you said, the hands that touched your watch was the same hands that showed you how to bait a hook.
I hope you will be able to watch the Sept. 26th program on the archives.
If he divorced his wife to marry a ‘lover’, he is still living an adulterous life since his wife is still living!!
” Till-death-do-us-part” comes to mind . and God-Bless for your loyalty.
My father suffered from Alzheimers, and so, yes, I am very disgusted with Pat Robertson for this. Dad was to the point where he hadn’t responded to family members for several weeks. One time when I visited him I decided to poke and prod him until he finally opened his eyes and looked at me. I asked him if he knew me, and he said, “Your’re my sweetheart.” Mom was with me so I pointed to her and asked, “Then who is that?” He looked at her, then me, and said, “She’s my sweetheart, too!” We belonged!! He knew us after several weeks of not responding, and not knowing family members anymore. I am sorry, Pat Robertson, he WAS STILL THERE!!!! What ever happened to ‘for better or worse’??? Go read your Bible, Pat!!!!!
For 10 years, our family lived with Dad’s Alz. During the last 9 months of his life, my mom; with the help of her 5 children was able to keep Dad at home. For the last month he did not speak or reply to request; in other words his needs were of a “baby” in a man’s body.
Four weeks before he went home, he asked who the people in white were standing in the corner of the ceiling. That was the last time he spoke. The day he went HOME, he smiled at one of my sisters and one of my brothers, winked and went home.
If you can tell me that my dad was mentally dead, then I feel sorry for you on JUDGEMENT DAY.
It is only when we are at our weakest that we can accept the power of lov efrom others.
Pat Robertson is a lost man.
I think of when the men of old who seemed to be the strongest followers of Christ had to depend on the love of others. We all must become as children to come closer to God.
There was Moses left in a basket in the reeds. Then there was Paul, when in danger, trusted the Lord and was “lowered in a basket” out of danger.
God Bless those who can show love and compassion.
Thanks for taking the time to write about your dad. It is sad that so many people disregard the life that God gives to us and are willing to dispose of it in so many ways: abortion, “mercy killing”, killing to get what they want, etc. God forgive us! Looking forward to seeing Scott at Mackinac Island this weekend.
Ken, I believe that Pat Robertson is heartless
in his thinking. My dad didn’t have alzemiers
but was in a coma about 21 days and I went to the hospital to see him at least 2 times and
sometimes 3 times a day and talked to him. He has been gone 7 years but I still miss him every
day but knowing he is with God comforts me very
much. God Bless
Ken,
I agree with you. We know how painful it is to watch a loved one slip away. We watched my father-in-law lovingly take care of my mother-in-law even though he was in bad physical condition himself. He would never have thought of leaving her. In fact, when she was transfered from the hospital to the nursing home, he got out of his wheelchair and into the ambulance without help to ride with her. We were all there two days later when she passed away.
Mr. Robertson was responding to ONE man who had already left his wife who had alzheimers, as he was in a relationship or partnership with another woman. That is adultery.
I have read an alternate version of what was said and maybe I understand what he is trying to say. I get it that it is better to divorce her rather than commit adultry. Whoa! It is still not the right thing to do. How about this; I am married to this person and I love them and will stay by their sice no matter what. Till death.
Marrying someone when a former spouse is still living IS adultery.
So if your partner physically / emotionally/sexually abuses you do you really think God doesn’t allow you to get a divorce? And then if you get a divorce you must live a life alone with no husband/ wife. I don’t see a loving God in that legalistic view, and that distorted view of marriage has kept many people in a violent marriage for fear of upsetting God. God came to give abundant life and freedom not keep us bound by our mistakes living in miserable existance.
When we spesk our vows at our wedding, it means what it says, for better for worse in sickness and in health,for richer for poorer. There is no way around that, if we truly mean our vows.
thank you for sharing this, it was a blessing.
the marriage vows are: in sickness and in health. this is a vow one promises his/her husband/wife…said before God. we should honor our promise…as we expect that God will honor His Promise to us that He will be with us in hard times. He will not forsake us and I don’t believe He will excuse us if we forsake our loved ones in their times of need and illness. Pat Robertson should rethink his OPINION…i can’t see it as Biblical advice in any form.
I don’t agree with what Pat Robertson said , and there are many times I did not agree with some of his statements , but I think a lot of readers are mis-interpreting what he ment to say.
Just sharing my latest blog/video with you which I thought your readers may also appreciate:
Is it love? A Rebuttal of Pat Robertson (Relationships, Marriage, Alzheimer’s disease)
https://christinesmith.us/wordpress/2011/10/01/is-it-love-a-rebuttal-of-pat-robertson-relationships-marriage-alzheimers-disease/
Dear ken,
I feel for families who have loved ones with
Alzheimer’s disease. My husband has been in the nursing home for nearly 5 years now. I am so priveleged to go and see him every day. I see him as the wonderful man I married 64 years ago.
He was always there for me through many surgeries. I just pray the Lord keeps him comfortable. He still knows me and I tell him how much I love him many times on each visit. If I miss a day for health reasons I can tell he seems more enthused to see me. He lays and looks
longingly at me and I hate to leave him. I know
your Mom and how much she loved your Dad. I would never even think of divorcing my love of 65 years. Thank you for sharing your story with
your readers. May the Lord Bless you and all of your family. A special hug to Diane.
In Christ’s Love,
Betty
Thank you for your comment. It would so nice to see you again. Time goes by too fast.
Wasn’t your husband “Bob?”. I remember you guys visiting mom and dad.
There are no caveats attached to “Do unto others…”, ” Honor your father and your mother”, “till death do us part”.
Thank you!!!! I lost both my parents to cancer – and my Daddy toward the end was not himself – and I would have never cast him aside.
I get so upset with people making such judgements on someone’s life when they themselves have not even walked anywhere remotely close to the situation being questioned.
You are a good son… God bless you!
I am an RN and worked for a time as a Hospice nurse. One of the most touching patients I cared for was a woman with Alzheimer’s. She and her husband were in their 90’s, and he had the financial resources to hire help to keep her at home. Even those last months, he kept her recliner right next to his, and she would spend much of the day there, with him holding her hand, even though by then she did not recognize anyone. He would just mention all the things she had done for him over all the years of their marriage, and it was now his turn to care for him. Precious!
Bless You! You are so right! My Dad lived nearly 25 years after a stroke, had Alzheimer’s his last years, Mom was by his side, and in the end suffered Dementia, and a stroke… when I would visit from 2000 miles away they would be happy to see me, but a few minutes later not remember I had come. They fed me, changed my diapers, loved a little brat who talked too much, the list goes on…perhaps the saddest thing in my life was to watch two intelligent people regress to childishness. Thx Mom & Dad!
Ken, you look so much like your father! I just HAD to say it!
I have worked around dementia for over forty plus years.I am certain we have no idea what runs thur their minds.They surprise me often with their responses.So continue to love and visit often.help with care.You will be rewarded for your responses.they have so much to give if we take the time to be there for them.
Ken, I wholeheartedly agree with you. I was shocked and embarrased by Robertson’s statement and think it is the lamest thing he has ever said. “until death do us part” is what the wedding vows say. Suppose my husband became a quadriplegic – would I divorce him based on the fact that he is “no longer there” physically? definitely not! I think Robertson forgot to ask himself “what would Jesus do?”
Pat Robertson does not understand Christianity as I do.
Thanks for sharing this. Less we forget that our parents raised us. They worked extra hours to put us through school. Labored long to keep us in clothes and food on the table. They are gone now but never forgotten. Your article really touched my heart. Again thanks for sharing it.
This touched me more than anything I’ve read in a while. I could feel your father touch your hand, look at your watch, touch your face… How could anyone cast off someone who has meant so much to them? So far, I have been very fortunate. I haven’t had to deal with anyone in my own family who had Alzheimer’s. However, I have had other things happen to my parents and my in-laws. Pat Robertson stunned me when he said what he did. I don’t understand how a “man of God” could say such a thing. I know that God will never leave me. Why would I have any right to do that to someone I love? And, more important, why would I want to?
I was horrified to hear Pat Robertson view on Alzheimer’s being equal to death and allowable reason for divorce. Some one ought to tell him to watch the Ken Howard film ” A Vow to Cherish” !! My dad is in the early stages of Alzheimer’s and it is killing me waiting to see how much or how little time we may have with him.
Your story brought tears to my eyes, to think someone would abandon their wife if she had dementia. As a nurse who spent 3yrs working with people living with all types and stages of dementia i can say one thing…there are ALWAYS there…maybe not in the way we remember or understand but they are always there. I knew a lady who thought a plastic doll was her baby son..she couldnt tell you how old she was, her sons names or anything that made any sense about her life BUT every Christmas…Easter…Mothers Day and her Birthday…she would spend the day depressed in bed…something in her knew today was special and no one was coming for her. Every other day it never seemed to bother her but on special days its like she knew her family werent there and it broke our hearts….she may not have remembred their names but she was still there and she knew their absence. Im so glad your Dad’s days were blessed with family and friends 🙂
Thak you for this honest, moving post. I thought some of these thoughts for mysef. I had a brain innury in 2008 that left me unable to put words to my thoughts and several other r awful things. There were times I even thought it may be easier for my husband to leave but thank Gox he was faithful and never left my side. Today I am nearly 100% recovered but even if I hadnt recovered, I know my husband would have been faithful to the end.
My dad went every day that it was physically possible to feed my mother her evening meal. When we told him he didn’t have to go every day he replied: ” Yes I do. If I go feed her, I know she has had something to eat today.”. She spent the last week of her life in the hospital and in hospice. He still did not leave her, because he wanted to be there when she “went home.” she died 8/4/11, and he had no regrets, only a deep loneliness that comes after spending 57 years together.
I hope Mr. Roberson never has to make the decision of whether or not to leave someone, or they have to make choices about his end days, because whatever one sows, so shall he reap.