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It is rare that I base a blog on a single question. But the outpouring of response to my blog “Finding friends in a world of fans” got me thinking more deeply about the subject and I am sincerely curious about your response to the question at the end of this blog.
Bill Gothard, isolated four “Levels of Friendship”. 1. acquaintance, 2. casual friend, 3. close friend, and 4 intimate friend.
Here is how he loosely defined each level.
Today as I read the comments on my last blog, “How to find friends in a world of fans,“ I came across this very special comment from my son in law Scott Fowler. Scott once sang with “The Cathedrals” and now travels with his own very popular Southern Gospel group, “Legacy Five.” Scott has more fans than a Tennessee deer has ticks. His comment is a tribute to the character of my daughter, Taryn and the quality of their love. I hope you enjoy the comment and the story.
Do you have friends or fans?
No matter what your occupation, this is a question that has a huge impact on your quality of life. In order to answer that question you need to know difference between a fan and a friend. Here are some hints.
Fans see you as networking potential ————— Friends see your potential
Fans love you for your performance ————- A friend loves you for you.
Fans are fickle ————— Friends are forever.
Fans want to see only your good side ————– A friend will protect your backside.
Fans demand that you entertain them —————– Friends just want your company.
Several years ago I came to the sad realization that I had almost no friends. I had thousands of fans, I had a successful career, I had lots of stuff, but I had no real friends. I was a nomad. I didn’t herd goats and pitch tents in the desert, but I walked through a desert of countless audiences, herding a dog and a pony and I never pitched my tent anywhere. I had people all around me and I was still alone.
We just returned from a marvelous vacation with six beautiful grandchildren. On the way to the lake, my youngest granddaughter was filled with excitement and with some fear and trepidation looking forward to the opportunity she would have to learn to water ski.
When the day arrived, she drew me close and whispered, “Will I fall?”
One of the principles that has allowed me to enjoy the benefits of losing 47 lbs came from my wife’s “Weight Watchers” group. They ask their participants to write down every thing they eat BEFORE they put it in their mouth. “Write it before you bite it” is the motto. It is amazing how much we eat without even thinking. Try to remember what you ate yesterday. I guarantee that unless you wrote it down, your estimate will be way less than you actually ate. When we “Write it before we bite it” it allows us to make a judgment call on both the consequences and the benefits of what we are about to consume.
That got me thinking.
Ken Davis is one of the country's most sought after motivational and inspirational speakers. His mixture of side-splitting humor and inspiration delights and enriches audiences of all ages.
